TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA : Here it is! TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS : Maria! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank? FRANK : Because of the sign. TEACHER : What sign? FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow ." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L TEACHER : No, that is wrong GLENN : Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD : H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER : What are you talking about? DONALD : Yesterday you said it is H to O! ___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didnot have ten years ago. WINNIE : Me! ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty? GOSS : Well, I am a lot closer to the ground than you are. ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I " MILLIE : I is... TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "I am " MILLIE : All right..."I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE? TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?" LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand. ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON : No sir, I do not have to, my Mom is a good cook. ___________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, teacher, it is the same dog!__________________________________________________________ TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD : A teacher.
AN ARROW CAN BE SHOT ONLY BY DRAGGING IT BACK . SO WHEN LIFE IS DRAGGING YOU BACK WITH DIFFICULTIES IT MEANS THAT IT IS POINTING YOU TO VICTORY. LIFE IS AN ARCHERY.
One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of overachievers he said, "Okay time for a quiz." Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produces a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks could fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"
Everyone in the class said, "Yes."
Then he said, "Really?" . He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is this jar full?"
By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered.
"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class answered.
Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One student raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit more things in it."
"No," the speaker replied, "that is not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all."
What are the big rocks in your life?
Your children, your loved ones, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others, doing things that you love, time for yourself, your health, your significant other.
Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you will never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you will fill your life with little things you worry about that do not really matter, and you will never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big important stuff (the big rocks).
So, tonight, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the "big rocks" in my life?
Once a place of worship had fallen upon hard times. Only five members were left: the priest and four others, all over 60 years old. In the mountains near the place of worship there lived an old cleric. It occurred to the priest to ask the old cleric if he could offer any advice that might save the place of worship. The chief priest and the cleric spoke at length, but when asked for advice, the cleric simply responded by saying, "I have no advice to give. The only thing I can tell you is that the Messiah is one of you."
The priest, returning to the place of worship, told the members what the cleric had said. In the months that followed, the old members pondered the words of the cleric. "The Messiah is one of us?" they each asked themselves. As they thought about this possibility, they all began to treat each other with extraordinary respect on the off chance that that one among them might be the Messiah. And on the off, off chance that each member himself might be the Messiah, they also began to treat themselves with extraordinary care.
As time went by, people visiting the place of worship noticed the aura of respect and gentle kindness that surrounded the five old members of the place of worship place. Hardly knowing why, more people began to come back to the place of worship. They began to bring their friends, and their friends brought more friends. Within a few years, the small place of worship had once again become a thriving , thanks to the Cleric's gift.
Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg (Germany) ,lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood. Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of Albrecht Durer the Elder's children had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the Academy. After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines. They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works. When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you." All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No ...no ...no ...no." Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look ... look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother ...for me it is too late." More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office. One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands." The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder, if you still need one, that no one - no one - - ever makes it alone
Once a philanthropic person constructed a beautiful football stadium. He invited the football giants and the football match was going on, with his sponsorship. His only son seated next to his father, was looking very worried and sad. Father asked for the reason. To which the son answered, " Daddy I never thought you are such a great miser ". The father said, " I spent millions of dollars and constructed the stadium and how can you call me a miser ?". To which Son replies, " Look daddy, you spent millions, I acknowledge. But look 22 players under the hot sun desperately running after one ball. Can't you be generous in donating some more balls? ".
Just imagine friends, a foot ball match with 22 players and 22 balls. The fun of the game is 22 players running after one ball. True they are tired, desperate, anxious, but all these add fun to the game. Exactly the same way, you treat a problem like a sportsman's attitude, as a challenge, the very paradigm shifts the way you look at a problem. It makes you handle problem wisely, not from pain, but from power. Like seasons, life will have problems. Therefore, treat a problem not as a nuisance, but as a challenge.
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw.As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of a hole is to shake it off and take a step up.Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest holes just by not stopping, never giving up!Shake it off and take a step up!
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like." The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. But the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.' They then went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don’t understand." "It is simple" said the Lord, "In this place the people have learned to feed one another."
Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come. When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
When the storms of life come upon us - and all of us will experience them - we can rise above them by setting our minds. The storms do not have to overcome us.We can soar above the storm.
Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, it is how we handle them.
